Helpful practices

Helpful Practices

Discover the Space we Live in

Most of us live in the head. This means we experience life through language, which is representative of reality; it is not reality. We describe and comment on the reality around us. We live with this commentary in the head, as well as opinions, judgments, criticisms, analysis, categorizing, and labelling. This separates us from reality as we are observing it, analyzing it, and deciding whether it is good, bad, or indifferent. The head is a very cramped space; there is not much room there, especially when we suffer from anxiety and a racing mind.

We need space. We can find a lot of it in the body. So a shift in focus is necessary. Below is an exercise to discover space in three steps.

1. This is a simple practice to find space in the body. This practice can be done anywhere and at any time. Don’t make it into a meditative practice that you do only at a specific time or place in the day and then forget about it. Make it an integral part of your life.

Begin to focus on your body and the sensations, pain, or tension you feel there. Pain and tension are sensations, of course; they are specific types of sensations. Start with focusing on your head. Notice any sensations there. No judgment, commentary, criticisms, just noticing what is happening and let that be. Then go to the neck and throat, and do the same thing. Then the shoulders and shoulder blades, the rest of the back, the arms and hands, the chest, the stomach (above the belly button), the abdomen (below the belly button), the bum and genitals, the upper legs, the knees, the calves and shinbones, the ankles, and the feet.

Notice what it is like to do this and what you learn. It may also be helpful to make notes about what you experienced and learned.

Questions to consider:

What do I notice about thought and emotion?

Are there moments without thought or emotion?

What is left when there is no thought or emotion?

With this practice, you are creating a relationship with yourself. You and your body, you and your sensations. You learn to be present with yourself in a non-judgmental, accepting way, no matter what arises. This makes it also a practice of self-compassion and acceptance.

2. You can now expand this practice to noticing your sensations at any time of the day or night. Notice how your body feels and responds to your environment, people, and circumstances.

3. Another way to become aware of space and create more space for you is to observe your environment. Notice all the things in your environment: people, nature, things. Notice how all this exists in empty space. This space is like the endless blue sky in which our planet and everything on it exists. And beyond our planet, it is the dark void of the universe that embraces the life of stars, planets, solar systems, and galaxies. From a scientific perspective, we know that all physical, dense things are composed of mostly empty space, of atoms and electrons.

Below is a simple picture of our environment as well as our inner being. This is the circle of awareness in which live all things: our universe and all the things that exist in this universe, including us. This is also our awareness, in which arise and disappear our thoughts, emotions, the circumstances of our lives, and our actions. Notice that all exists in space.

The invitation is to focus on the space in which all exists, not the things themselves, represented in the circle by smaller circles.

4. What do you notice about empty space?

This practice follows the process of creation. This is commented on in mythologies. For example, in the mythology of Tane the bird deity of Polynesia, it is said that before creation, it was dark and there was no room for the beings who lived then. They made light and space to live by separating Mother (matter) and Father (spirit). This way, physical reality was created. Scientifically, this is the advent of the Big Bang that created the space of our universe, which is teeming with life. I often say to clients there is no room in the head with thoughts coming and going with the speed of light. The head needs a body so there may be space, and that exactly reflects the event of creation. One of the latest scientific ideas about creation is that physical reality was created when there was a drop in the speed of light in a vacuum, so it slowed down, resulting in energy being forced into matter. This is how space was made so that we could live, and this is how we need to refocus our attention so that we may have space to live.

The Three Aspects of Being

We consist of three aspects: the mind, the heart, and the body. They are all important. This exercise explores these realms in a simple way, keeping in mind there is much more to explore and say about each.

It is essential for us to discover what each one is like and how it differs from the others.

For most of us these three aspects do not co-exist harmoniously because of our ego and pain. It is important to understand how they relate to each other, how we relate to each, and which is dominant. Then we can begin to restore the appropriate balance.

The mind is the realm of thought. It is about thinking, analysis, judging, planning, clarity, insight, and understanding.

The sacred heart offers a different perspective on life (see the heart page for more information about the different aspects of the heart). It offers a holistic, divine perspective that is devoid of human thought and emotion. It is filled with love and wisdom, and is open, spacious, clear, and pristine. It offers a direct experience of life, its connectedness and unity, and imbues it with love. It incorporates a felt sense of life. Here we encounter the voice of intuition, of God, that knows or the prompting of the heart.

The body is a whole world onto itself. It is a world of sensation, emotion, memory, imagery, and information. There is also much love and wisdom there when we tap into the energy of the body. In the body, we encounter a holistic felt sense that contains much information. One manifestation of this is the gut instinct that knows. The body also contains emotion, as mentioned, as well as desire, and need.

Pay attention over a number of weeks to these three aspects of your being so that you will come to know them consciously and intimately.

1. Notice the thinking, the stories you tell yourself, the running commentary in your head, the chatter that clutters open space. What is that like? What do you experience when there is no thought?

2. Notice any promptings from the heart. Notice feelings of love, beauty, acceptance, and connectedness of the heart. Notice any sensation of cracking, heaviness, or opening of the heart. Notice moments of openness and clarity and a direct experience of life imbued with love, unmediated by the thinking mind. What is that like? How is it different from the thinking mind?

3. Notice your emotions, needs, and desires. Notice your sensations, a felt sense, and gut instinct about what is happening around you. What is that like? How does it differ from the other two aspects? What do you experience when there is no emotion?

4. Then ask yourself the question how you relate to these three aspects. How do you feel about the thinking mind? How do you feel about the heart? How do you feel about emotion, need, and desire as well as the gut instinct of the body?

5. Notice how these three aspects interrelate. Observe the relationship between your head and your body, meaning desire, need, and emotion. What is that relationship like? What does your head say about your emotions, needs, and desires or your gut sense? How do these two aspects influence each other?

You will probably notice there is a conflict between the two, which is the case with most of us, to one degree or other.

6. Now ask yourself the question: where do I live most of the time in my daily life? The head, the heart, or the body?

For most of us the answer is in the head, thinking all the time.

Where would you prefer to live?

If you live mostly in the head, pay more attention to the heart and the body to begin to restore balance in your being. See the heart page on this website for additional exercises to connect to the heart.

7. Here is a simple exercise to get to know the heart and body better. Look at something, for example, a tree. Notice there are different ways of looking at the tree. If you look with your head, what happens? The head may say: I don’t like the tree; I don’t like the colour; I don’t like the way the branches are shaped. This is typical head, as it has an opinion, criticism, and judgment.

What do you experience when you look with your heart and body? This way of looking involves opening yourself to the tree, to feel it and sense it, and to see it with the heart, which sees it as it is, without any analysis or judgment, connects to its beauty, and feels love.

There is love everywhere around us, as well as inside of us. Love is abundant, inside and outside. The thinking mind misses it, but the heart and body see, feel, and live it.

8. What did you experience when there was no thought or emotion present?

There is much more to say about and explore in these realms that are aspects of the Divine. This question points to a deeper experience we can discover.

The purpose of this exercise is to work towards living more in the heart and the body, instead of in the thinking mind. To live in the heart and the body, with the head, the thinking mind, the servant of the heart. Please take your time with this exercise as there is a lot here.

Rose mandala growing in my garden August 2020. It has four roses and one large one in the middle. Magic!

Being Present

When we live in the head, we are not present. We are present in our virtual reality with a lot of thinking that is mostly not true. When we are in the head, we tend to be in the past or the future.

But life happens in the now moment. Life is here now, with me living in my body and my heart open to everything around me.

Here is an exercise to help you be more grounded and present:

1. First do a quick body scan, as explained above, to feel your body and be present in it. Then focus your attention on your environment. Really look at, observe, the things around you. You can help yourself do this by describing in detail the things you are looking at. Look at things as if you have never seen them before. When you do that, it is indeed as if you have never really seen the object before. This helps slow you down and another world can begin to open up.

2. Pay attention to the sounds you hear. Notice how sound arises and disappears in the emptiness we live in, this vast embrace where there is much to discover.

3. Notice sensations in your body.

4. Touch certain things or surfaces to feel their texture. Notice the difference in textures.

5. Notice the taste in your mouth or what you smell.

6. You can make a game with some of these exercises. For example, if you like to touch things, you can challenge yourself to recognize things by touch.

Aliveness in the Body

Sometimes we don’t feel much in the body. It may feel numb, particularly when we have experienced trauma and there is a freezing response in the body.

Here are exercises to create more aliveness in the body.

1. Move all the joints in the body. Rotate your feet at the ankles and notice what happens. Rotate your lower leg at the knee. Rotate your leg at the hip. Rotate your hips. Rotate your hands at the wrists. Rotate your lower arms at the elbows. Rotate your arms at the shoulders. Rotate your head. Notice what happens when you do this. Is there any sensation now?

2. We can breathe into parts of the body to bring more awareness there. The breath is aware and is closely intertwined with the mind.

Begin by breathing in your big toe. Breathe into all the pores of the skin of the big toe and breathe through them. Of course, you are still breathing into your lungs. It is your intention and focus that bring the breath to the toe. Then breathe into the rest of the toes together and then your entire foot. You can try breathing into each toe but this is subtle and difficult and not the best way to begin to do this exercise.

Breathe into your thumb. Then breathe into each of the other fingers, one at a time, then the entire hand.

You can expand this exercise to other parts of the body as desired.

3. When freezing is happening, movement of energy is important. Get up, walk, go for a walk, or run. Seek help if this is happening.

When We Wake Up

Anything is Possible